i permit you to call me
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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