How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just google imaged poop.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we're so committed to being not committed
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
