yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
