That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
