We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
