Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
