We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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