sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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