And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
