PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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