So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
