careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
