I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize