Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
