Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
