We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
