Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
