shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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