Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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