Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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