ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
