Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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