Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
