..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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