Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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