Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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