Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
