Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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