so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize