Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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