JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
the liver wants what the liver wants
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
pray to the hookup gods
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
