also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
