lets start a swedish sibling band together
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Randomize
