I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
