What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
she woke up with a sticky ear
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
