you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
