Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
