Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
