She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
