she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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