White coat. Heels.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
