We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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