I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
