Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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