I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
