uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
