Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
