just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
