There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
