Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
