dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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