AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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