sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
