hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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