WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
