Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
