Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
