Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
