he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
